Worth It - Game Grumps
by LemonadeRaid
Summary: Arin and Dan are recording some episodes for Game Grumps when Dan begins to question things. After multiple instances of seeing some of people's opinions about him, he begins feeling worthless and lost in himself. But the real dilemma appears when he begins to seriously question whether he's a good enough friend...especially to Arin. (Not a shipfic. Trigger warning applies.)
1. Chapter 1

Special thanks to all my friends for their support on this; I really couldn't have done it without the encouragement you guys have given to me. So thank you, sincerely.

 **TW:** Panic attacks, bad thoughts/feelings...swearing, too, but if you watch the show then that's to be expected.

 **~~~Worth It [Part 1]~~~**

A man stepped out of his car on a frostbitten winter's morning, slamming the door shut behind him. The sidewalk in front, the buildings to the side, and the car behind. He was ready for work. His brown eyes gazed around the surroundings as his nose sucked in a breath of very fresh air; it was a great day once again. Stepping up a nearby sidewalk, on his way to a certain place, the man brushed a ball of fluffy hair out of his face- which was being blown around by the wind. The only thing so "bad" about this day was the blustery weather, really; everything seemed perfect otherwise.

Danny was a tall, curly-haired Jewish performer with a scar on his eyebrow and a smile on his face. Said man was on his way to the Grumpspace, as it was called. He was humming a little tune as he moved forward, unsure of even what it was at the moment-it did indeed take his mind off the snippy cold in California, though. There was no snow whatsoever, but that didn't stop the state from bringing the winter along just as strongly as, say, some others.

Chilly days in Buffalo and Jersey were much worse, he thought, smiling a little as he thought about some people who seemed to think that, when LA was 40 degrees, this somehow constituted as "cold". Compared to where he'd been in the past, Dan had to laugh a little.

But, nonetheless, he was all zipped up in a green jacket and a black scarf; a blue knit cap pushing down his curly hair so it puffed out at the bottom. People sometimes remarked that he looked like an adorable hobo. Hands in his pockets, he began walking up the walkway to the building with a continuous hum. Unfortunately, he still had no idea what the song was. Perhaps if he hummed it out once he was inside, someone might know. Which reminded him...

Dan paused on the walkway and looked around-the only other car parked there belong to his best friend, Arin. There was no Barry, Ross, Holly, or Suzy...they were likely to be at home at this time. Perfect for hours of recording. Their "sessions" usually tend to go until late in the evening and sometimes past midnight, but those were the best ones. The times when Arin was so talkative and loopy at 1 o'clock in the morning that he'd forgotten what he'd even said in the episode the next day.

They'd be texting back and forth and Dan would bring up his funny joke, but he'd always either deny he said it, or give a really enthusiastic affirmation of his randomness at times. But, truthfully, that's what everyone loved about Arin. The jokes, the randomness, the talent...the sometimes insane proportions of his screaming and yelling at games.

He was, after all "Grump", so he had to be grumpy at one thing or another every so often to live up to that title. Dan laughed at his ragefits and, sometimes, ragequits. But they clicked well because of their opposite-type personalities. Dan was very down-to-earth and sweet, mellowing out Arin's blunt and dramatic attitude. Plus, one could sing like an angel and the other could hella rap. Ah, Starbomb...that little baby that the both of them (including Dan's other best friend, "Ninja" Brian) had nurtured into an ultra-successful musical group about video games-and putting those franchises and characters into funny scenarios. By far the best thing that "Not-So-Grump" had accomplished musically aside from his main group, Ninja Sex Party.

Then there was Northern Hues and Skyhill...

Danny was quickly snapped out of his musical thoughts as he found himself at the door of the "Grumpspace". He opened the unlocked entrance and went inside, taking off his scarf and hat and throwing them onto his desk. The man jumped a little when he heard a groan coming from the other room, and turned quickly to see Arin Hanson on the couch. His back was halfway over the side of it, long hair hanging down as he stared over at Dan. The latter couldn't tell whether he was genuinely frustrated at something or just being random as usual, so he laughed and looked over.

"You doin' okay, Arin?"

"You've taken all day to get here," the brunette pointed out, thrusting his arm out and pointing his finger accusingly at his fellow Let's Player. "I've been bored as shit with nothing to do but wait. Why are you so late today?"

Dan rolled his eyes playfully, unable to keep an amused grin off his face as he took off his winter gear and was left in a white t-shirt with the Triforce design on it, jeans, and a necklace. "Good question, considering you're the one who's always late. I should've brought some Starbucks, I'm sorry." he apologized, walking over to the couch and looking down at Arin; who was sprawled out over the entire thing and had his brown eyes fastened up on Dan.

"...You gonna move so I can sit?"

"Well, what are we gonna play?" Arin quipped back, sitting back up and combing his hand through his brown hair and blonde strip to straighten it up again- as he often did. "We got any games in the mail?"

"Arin, when are you gonna start opening the mail up by yourself?" Dan asked with a sigh, knowing his friend wouldn't open any of the packages that were addressed to "Game Grumps" unless his friend was there, too. Sure, he'd open things addressed to Egoraptor, but for some reason he seemed more reluctant to do the former- even though Danny had elaborated on numerous occasions that he didn't have to see everything.

"Mail's right here," responded Arin, not answering his friend's question directly. Dan was used to that. He pulled a thick stack of mail up beside him and shook one in particular package, hearing a loose cartridge rustle around inside. Excited, the two boys sat close together and watched as Arin tore open the package, revealing a copy of the Sega Genesis classic, After Burner 2. The Grumps ooh'd at the cartridge as they looked at it, inspecting it to make sure that it wasn't damaged in any way.

"After Burner's that cool game with the jetfighting, isn't it? Sweet," Danny remarked once Arin nodded in response, then stood with the game to walk over to the Genesis. He booted up the system and put the game in, withdrawing a packet of Skittles from his pocket as the screen loaded up.

Arin handed his friend a letter that was for him-which so happened to come in the mail along with the game, among other things. Danny put it in his pocket and began setting up the recording equipment, making sure all the mics were calibrated and the screen capture was on before taking his seat beside Arin. The two brofisted as the title screen loaded, and Dan opened his bag of Skittles as Arin commenced the recording process. After waiting a few seconds, they both spoke up at once.

"Heeey!"

"Welcome to Game Grumps," Arin said, "uh...today we're gonna be playing After Burner 2 on the Genesis. Thank you to the people who sent this in who, apparently, prefer to remain anonymous. But yeah, it's a...cool game, I remember it from ages back."

"Is that right?" Dan asked, curiously studying the graphics on the main menu screen. A wall of tiny balls-apparently targets for the plane seemed to be spinning around and around, prompting him to giggle at the odd choice in animation. "Shoot the balls!"

"Yeah. And I can't, that's just the weird menu animation." was the response, followed by the selection of the 'start' button. The game briefly showed some black-and-white photos of planes before putting the Grumps into a pixelated one of their own; which was launched off a carrier ship and began to soar in the air. Arin whooped and did a couple flips, shooting some missiles off to get a hang of the control functions.

"So, like, this is a game where you just shoot down other planes and try to avoid getting shot down yourself," Dan said, making more of a statement than asking a question. Arin nodded in response.

"Yeah, it's pretty classic- I remember the commercials for it when I was a kid," he chuckled, performing another barrel roll while he waited for the enemies to spawn into the game, "dude, 80's and 90's commercials were freakin' insane."

Danny laughed and sat back on the couch, holding his knee and looking at the screen as he thought about this. "Yeah, 'cuz...remember those really weird commercials for, like, toy cars and dolls?"

"Oh, yeah, totally," responded Arin as enemies began to appear in the distance. He moved out of the way of their attacks and locked onto the targets, waiting a few seconds before firing off his weapons. It was a fast-moving game and he had to keep an eye on things; but, like all Grump sessions, that didn't mean he still couldn't talk about stupid shit with his friend. "And do you remember those God-awful animations that sometimes went with the commercials back then?"

"Hell yeah, I do," Not-So-Grump had to smile as he grabbed a stuffed Pikachu and hugged it close, thinking back to his days as a child in Jersey with his parents and sister. "...Man, they were the weirdest," he followed up his previous comment, shaking some of his fluffy hair from his face as he witnessed Arin's aircraft begin to spin around. It continued to shoot up ahead and avoid the oncoming missiles until it got hit by one.

"Ah, shit..." Arin muttered to himself as he frantically dodged more oncoming missiles, taking aim and firing back with a spiteful look on his face-the same look that Danny was used to seeing every time they played a game. And yet, he still had to giggle at it.

"You got this, Ar," he said encouragingly, squinting at the screen as the craft spun. "But, like...commercials? What were we on about?" the man asked, trying to remember back to a few minutes ago. Distractions were the show's middle name, apparently.

"I don't know. Do we ever kn- DAMMIT!" hissed Arin as his brown eyes narrowed even darker at the screen, if that were at all possible. He barrel rolled out of the way, fastened the lock-on mechanism, and launched the weapons.

"Like I said, you got this," Danny giggled, "but for you people at home, Arin's got the fucking death stare on his face, geez. Mario Maker all over again," he was cut off by his friend's laughing, and reminded that it was basically every episode ever. Dan had to think about that for a moment, resting his head in his hand.

Every single episode...that must have tallied hundreds of recording sessions in all. Originally, it'd all been done in the house of Arin and his wife Suzy, a fellow gaming enthusiast who also had a love of cats. She had two YouTube channels of her own- one for makeup, DIY videos, arts and crafts, and the other for gaming.

But, however, they'd decided to migrate their massive collection to a brand new building- one in which the Grumps could work. But the show wasn't work, it was literally just sitting with your friend...playing a game. All day.

Dan had to make a contented look. He technically had this as his passion along with his baby, NSP; and he wouldn't have it any other way. Just the sheer act of forgetting reality for an afternoon-sometimes a whole day-to play video games with your best friend made all the difference in life.

Arin, he was positive, felt the same way about things. He was so positive, in fact, that even his habit of overthinking things seemed to be completely halted whenever it came to Game Grumps. The confidence he had on this show was unreal- and the support from viewers both made him feel incredibly loved and motivated. It was just, as he thought often, "a really cool thing".

Arin's pissy attitude seemed to be climbing fast, presently. He maneuvered all sorts of paths but didn't seem to be able to avoid those oncoming missiles well. He swore under his breath and handed off the controller quickly to his laughing, yet encouraging partner- who gladly took the wheel for a few moments before an impatient brunette was staring him in the face again.

This was what the audience missed off-camera. Since, of course, the Grumps didn't use a camera.

The thought rushed through Arin's mind as he leaned in closer, knowing neither he nor Dan had any equipped personal boundaries (what even were those) on them whatsoever. After a lost level, the controller was once again passed back to "Grump", who took it gladly and began playing the game just the same as before. Arin tapped his feet lightly on the floor as he began talking about something random- even he wasn't sure why the conversation about popcorn or...something, came into play. That was how his mind worked: fast-paced, random, completely wild and unhinged by reality.

He was, afterall, an animator; and a pretty damn good one at that. Not to mention, rapper. How fast and how smooth could someone rap? In Dan's opinion, at least, it was none other than Arin. He had to be the best.

"Damn!" hissed Arin as he started taking more hits than making them, "is this game rigged, or am I seeing things? I swear..." he grumbled, then continued on with the conversation about popcorn-which switched to cotton candy, then back to popcorn. What could he say? He was hungry. And more than excited for dinner tonight with Suzy. Mmm...roast beef, mashed potatoes, and probably an ever-growing hungry feeling even WHILE he ate. Then he'd go sit on the couch with Suzy and watch whatever...cuddle with the cats, too. Ahh, little Mochi and Mimi...

Arin swore that Danny would steal Mimi and take her home with him if he got the chance. At this thought, the conversation quickly switched over to cats.

Within the next...ten, maybe, minutes, the guys finished up After Burner 2 and ended the episode. That was a fun one, and they hastily moved onto the next game after that. Danny got out his laptop and looked up walkthroughs, as this happened to be a more story-driven title...and it required the searching for of things. Arin wasn't too good at taking game direction from most people, but he gladly heeded Danny's directions and warnings.

Since Arin seemed to be doing fine and the both of them could multitask well while still holding an engaging conversation for the viewers at home, Danny began to drift across the interwebs. He checked out Twitter, first- NSP's flooded feed of shoutouts and such was, once again, interesting to gloss over.

After a minute of this, while still holding up a conversation of Arin about game design and such, Dan began to drift over to Reddit. He laughed at one of Arin's comments as he scrolled down to the Game Grumps subreddit and clicked it, eager to see what all the lovelies (as the fans were called) were up to. Perhaps there was a noteworthy piece of fanart or even a little note to the Grumps- it was very possible.

Danny didn't frequent Reddit when it was work-related often...he preferred to stay on the farthest part of the site from NSP and Game Grumps for various reasons; unless it was an AMA or something. The top one being that some people were just hardhearted bastards, but that was beside the point.

Now Arin was too engrossed in the game to notice or care what Danny was doing, as usual. He kept his mind focused and the conversation still going; as he always managed to do whenever Dan was there. He could literally talk about anything. What did Arin have to lose? The world already knew about the D-Club, after all.

Because of the lack of thinking it through, Dan just drifted on into the waves of the Game Grumps subreddit. He didn't come here since a bit after the last AMA they'd had, but he was ready and prepped to see some of the cool fanart and, hopefully, upvoted talks that people had started.

Arin would have given Dan a quick warning had he'd known; but considering the two were so deep in both the gameplay and conversation...he didn't. The game continued as usual, with a commentary carrying on as usual with occupied half of both their attentions. The conversation eventually switched over to music. More specifically, old music- the kind Danny relished in and took inspiration from.

Oh! He suddenly thought, remembering that tune that had been stuck in his head.

"So, today I've got this song stuck in my head. Do you know the little _'Ooh...you're makin' me live'_?" he asked curiously to the tune of the mystery song, leaning a little forward to watch Arin's facial expression as he thought.

"Yeah, it's like...Queen or something. I know what you mean though." the gamer answered with a quick glance at an inquisitive Danny- operating his laptop with one hand and hugging a big stuffed Pikachu with the other. "...Stuck in your head, huh?" Arin had to smirk a little, "you've always got some song in there."

"Kinda comes with the profession, bro." giggled Dan, pushing some fluffy hair back from his face and turning back to the game. Before long, he drifted back to his laptop and soon forgot the song and previous conversation as he dove deeper into Reddit and Arin began talking about the gameplay again.

 ** _"Starcade 9 - Forum and Discussion"_**

Danny thought that was neat. That was an episode of Jontron's "Starcade" series, a parody of Star Wars that he had done on his channel. Dan was a fan of Jontron and Arin was, too.

Well...Arin had worked with him.

Before Danny had even come onto Game Grumps, Jon had been the one to start it up. With Arin. It'd been more of a promotion for their respective channels, but neither knew that it would evolve into something absolutely huge. Not to mention the fact that it would eventually spawn spinoff series like Steam Train, Grumpcade, Table Flip, and others. Though Jon had left, he still stuck on his own show and Danny loved the content. Though he didn't know the man as well as Arin did, he respected the former Not-So-Grump from a distance, although he generally avoided conversation about him on the show.

It was sort of a taboo...

He hadn't taken much consideration into the fact that people might still be butthurt about Jon leaving, and that there might be a whole squad of people like that. Dan knew that he was disliked at first, but that was more obvious and he saw that coming.

It's the internet, there was gonna be that initial hate before he developed a fanbase of his own. So many girls he made swoon and so many guys he could make go gay for him in an instant. Danny was a charmer, to say the least; and everyone generally held a high opinion of him. But then there was the...

The other side of things.

Yeah, the other side of "things"...which he barely paid attention to. Sure, he knew they existed, but so did trolls. Surely smart people wouldn't legitimately form a squad just to get on Dan's case. They'd stay quiet...right?

Right?

Danny scrolled through thread after thread while holding up a conversation with his friend; an engaging one at that. Often, Danny's brown eyes drifted back over to the gameplay when the conversation became slightly quiet- which didn't happen too often, but still. Usually by the end of these sessions, which sometimes dragged into the night, Dan's face and cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing- something he did often anyway. But when he was with Arin being a Game Grump, he felt free to let his happy emotions out and be the most expressive version of himself.

However, as he dug deep into the threads on Reddit, things got very...different. And not different in especially the good way. A discussion seemed to be taking place right now in the forum that had started up a couple hours ago-and people were certainly buzzing. Danny's heart leaped into his throat when he saw the 300 comments that had already surfaced; and what the topic of this particular thread was.

Oh, God...

 ** _"Do you guys ever wish that Arin would've taken a bit more consideration into Jon's replacement Grump?"_**

Sigh. Dan blinked, phased at this point. But the thread was tempting...something with so many comments must have a lot of opinions. He was well aware that people loved him...loved him for NSP, for his musical endeavors, for Game Grumps...

 ** _"I mean...don't get me wrong, I like Dan okay. He seems like a great guy and I'm sure you guys have adjusted; but I gave up the show when Jon left. I couldn't think that a replacement would ever be a CONSIDERATION for Arin, but at this point...the "fandom" seems to think otherwise."_**

...It continued;

 _ **"I've watched minimal episodes with Danny just because, unfortunately, I'm not a huge fan. So do you think that Arin should have put a bit more thought into finding someone more qualified? Because I've never seen Avidan (or Sexbang, whatever) as one of the Grumps...I don't mean to sound so weird, but that's just how it is for me. Could you tell me if he's...worth it?"**_

Why did that sting so much?

Danny inhaled deeply, beginning to scroll down to the comments below. The first few were thankfully defensive and encouraging statements, which did indeed serve their purpose in uplifting him. He kept reading for a while, coming across some poorly-worded insults; first reaction being to skip them altogether and move to more constructive criticism. Thankfully, there was more defense than any-

 ** _"Could you tell me if he's...worth it?"_**

"If he's worth it."


	2. Chapter 2

**~~~Worth It [Part 2]~~~**

 ** _"If he's...worth it."_**

Danny felt a slight pang as those words crept into his mind again, and he decided to close the computer for now. The episode of Game Grumps was coming to a close, and it was time for them to wrap it up. It'd been going for about twenty minutes, now; and the man leaned forward to watch Arin wrap this up.

The brunette cheered when he reached the end of the stage, putting the controller down and clapping his hands together. "Hell yeah!" he chanted, fistpumping in the air. "I'M THE MOTHERFUCKIN' CHAMPION! WHOO!"

Danny giggled and clapped in congratulations. "That was awesome. Great job, Arin!" he smiled even wider at his friend's elated expression, and gave him a pat on the back. "Proud'a you."

"Thanks, dude," Arin nodded happily, pushing some of his hair back behind his ear before the timer reminded them that it was time to end the episode. "Well, next time on Game Grumps."

"Yep indeed, onto the next episode! Buh-bye, lovelies!"

Hours later, the two friends had scanned through a couple more one-off games and worked on their present ongoing series. Dan had a great time, forgetting the worries he'd encountered earlier on Reddit and focusing instead on spending time with his best friend- and they had a blast together. After hours of collapsing in laughter and being dominated by yelling, a very amused and tired Avidan was sitting with the recorder turned off, and the television off as well. He lay back on the couch, holding the stuffed Pikachu in his arms as he and Arin spoke to each other and ate a snack. The morning had passed very quickly, it seemed, and it was now around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

Arin was having some macaroni salad that his wife Suzy had prepared earlier that morning, discussing stuff with Danny; who was sprawled out on his back and looking at the ceiling. The conversation was drifting in and out simply because of Arin's chewing (though that's not to say he didn't talk with his mouth open...of course he did), but Danny was growing slightly bored. That was when he sprang up to a sitting position, remembering the fan mail.

"Oh, I got it! Let's read our stuff, kay?" he suggested with a smile, reaching to get the mound of things from earlier. He and Arin opened the packages marked "Game Grumps" together, pulling out individual presents and packets of games and other things. At this point, they were both once again awestruck with the presents people had sent them, and stared wide-eyed at the pile.

"That's a lot of awesome shit," Arin mumbled, eyebrows lifting. "One more thing, though- and it's for you, Dan." he quickly zapped his hand over to his friend's pocket, yanking the letter that had been stashed in there earlier, out.

Ooh, how they both loved fanmail- reading over things that people sent in telling them how much they loved them as individuals and how they worked together. Absolutely, Arin was thinking with an internal smile- though he didn't make it known that he was pondering that.

Whenever he tried to compliment Dan, it always somehow came off as sarcasm. He couldn't really fix it, considering that was just how he spoke and there was nothing more to it, but he was slightly comforted by the fact that his friend...knew. Arin definitely wasn't one for words quite in the way most people were, but he was thankful for the fact that his facial expressions could mostly convey that. Sometimes during recording, he'd shoot Dan both the nastiest gazes and the most sincere looks of approval. He had to admit that, at times, he was impressed.

How had he get someone like this? Like any of them, really? How had Arin met Barry and Ross, Suzy and Danny, Kevin and Brian...it just seemed really good to be true at times.

He'd definitely had some hard times in his life, to say the least- what with money, jobs, his career of animation and gaming...and, of course, his attention problems. But he had more than conquered all that. Procrastination and his attitude would always be there (he was, after all, "Grump"; duh), yet Egoraptor was more than satisfied with the way things were now. He'd made it through some tough times, with help.

His brown eyes narrowed slightly as he studied his friend opening the package.

Arin didn't want any of this to change. Not a single second. Oh, he definitely wouldn't admit it much...only Suzy really knew, but he was more protective than he let on. Though Arin knew he was "independent", and mostly worked on various projects alone, when he needed help there would be asking for it.

Danny quickly tore open the envelope and pulled out a letter excitedly, opening it quickly and reading the first couple lines. Ah, yeah, addressed to him specifically...he loved these types of things.

 ** _"Hey, Dan..._**

A few years ago a friend of mine suggested to me that I check out Game Grumps. I was pretty new to the whole YouTube let's playing thing, but back then it was awesome to see two new people coming on and branching out to take a start on this. Plus, they had a great amount of comradery together and bounced off each other's comedy. Game Grumps quickly grew to become one of my favorite things.

And then one day, one of them disappeared.

I appreciate what you're trying to do, and you're probably not going to get to read this among the piles of mail you're bound to get on a daily basis. But I just wanted to reiterate: Game Grumps was one of my favorite things. Then you came on the picture.

From what I've heard, you're a sensitive guy. I'll make this quick since I could've just posted this in the comments' section of a video, or on Reddit, but I don't want to deal with the floods of people defending you. I'm not good with internet backlash.

You will never be what he was. I don't know how Arin got so high. He's changed and made some of the worst decisions I've seen someone make; that's why I left the fandom. Well, his changing and your entrance into the picture.

You're a bad influence on him. Before, Arin was funny and talented, but you HOG the show so much like it was your idea. When do you ever give credit where credit is due, again?

You should just focus on what you're good at: music. Get a fucking life and pursue that.

I'm being blunt, but you need to be told by someone. If no one else has the guts to, I will. I'm not saying for you to leave the show since it's too damn late at this point, but I'm here to remind you of what you're capable of. Both you and Arin are too good for each other.

See other people. Don't waste your breath on making people laugh. Arin definitely doesn't need you in his life, and neither do your 'fans'.

~Anonymous"

Danny's face was burning; throat tight. He had read the whole thing...holy shit, he had read every single word of that with painstaking slowness. He had to- what else!? It started off as something very nice, but it quickly took such a downturn. Not just insulting Dan, but bringing Arin into this? Saying that the two of them had made each other worse and interrupted their true callings- that Arin held Dan back and that Dan was a bad influence?

On his fucking best friend!?

His eyes stung a little, but he turned his head away and folded the letter quietly in an effort to hide this. He sincerely didn't want Arin to worry about what was happening. But oh, his heart was burning...his eyes were burning. That was so hateful...it was worse than any other internet comment.

Oh...well, thinking back, some of the internet commenters had thought the exact same thing as this person. How did they have the ri- no...they had every right. Maybe Danny wasn't cut out for this...he felt so weak right now, mentally.

 _Fuck, don't cry...don't cry..._

"Dan?" Arin snapped his friend out of his thoughts, reaching over to touch his shoulder. "How was the letter, bro? You make another friend in a lovely?" the brunette smirked a little, waggling his eyebrows as he tilted his head over; long hair falling in his face a little.

"Yep. I love the mail we get," was the response, though a somewhat labored one.

Arin barely paid any attention to the hesitation, brushing it off. Emotions were somewhat of a hard topic for him. However, though, for the person on the other end of the couch...they came too easy.

"Do you mind if I take a short walk real quick...? I-I need some air," Danny swung his legs over the side of the couch, shoulders hunching as he shuffled into the other room to get his coat and other things. Arin sat dumbfounded. This hadn't happened. Did he miss something? What about that letter- oh...it'd been taken along. He wouldn't get to read it unless he asked to.

Was it something bad? Arin was up in an instant.

"Need some company? It's a decent day. We could even go get some lunch if you wanna."

"We already had lunch..." mumbled Arin's fellow gamer as he got his shoes on and started toward the door. "Nah, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Daniel," Arin said with a Russian accent being added onto his voice, in a joking way. "You are going to get ze freezings out there. Bundle up even warmer." this caused his friend to stop in his tracks on his way to the door. What...? He was a bit lost.

"Come on, I've got plenty of the blubber to spare!" Arin continued in the accent. "Turn around!"

Danny shook his head. "No, really, man- I just need some air. I'm gonna be fine; I'll be right back."

Arin watched without another word as his fellow gamer rushed to the door and out, slamming it shut behind him. The room was left empty aside from desks with computers, and other things on them...everything was silent. Dead silent. It was almost a little eerie the way things just suddenly went quiet...but what...happened? Was he serious about being right back?

Arin stepped forward, then back again. He said he needed to be alone...but to do what? Make a call? Think? Walk? Cry? Sing!? The animator's head buzzed with a million thoughts of what could be going on; some worrisome and some somewhat comforting. But at the end of his mental conversation with himself, Arin came out a little scared.

Humming a Starbomb tune to calm him down helped as he quickly got shoes and a light jacket on, making sure everything was locked up before he left- for however long he needed to. After storming to get ready, the man walked to the door and opened it, locking it with the keys behind him and shoving them in his pocket before walking swiftly to the sidewalk. Arin stopped to look around, hair whipping around in the wind that had started to pick up. Impossible...could his hair ever stay out of his face?

Frustrated but somewhat amused, Arin pulled a little tie from his pocket and put his hair in a ponytail, racing across the street before noticing Danny's car parked a short distance away; back facing him. The wind began blowing some stray leaves from the ended fall season across the street as Arin zipped up his jacket and stepped forward.

Once he reached Danny's car, he walked up beside the passenger window and gazed inside. Ah, there he was! Sitting in the driver's seat, arms folded tightly in front of his chest. His long, curly hair fell down in front of his face and his long legs sat buckled up as much as they could be under the steering wheel. Yet Arin failed to notice his obvious attempt to make a fetal position and tapped on the window.

Danny let out an audible scream from inside the car, his hand flying out back behind him and grabbing the chair as he scooted away. His dark hair only showed one of his eyes now that his head was turned, but only from that, Arin's heart skipped a beat. What the hell? Danny's one visible brown eye was wide and afraid; his cheeks were red. Another thing that quickly became noticeable was his cheeks- again.

They were wet...

Arin gave a small start. The man immediately yanked the car door open and climbed inside, shutting it behind him and turning to look at Danny. He quickly untied his hair, leaning over.

"The fuck is going on? What happened to you?"

Danny's stomach was an absolute knot. He could barely breathe at this point. A panic attack, now? ...Really, universe!? In front of Arin? He couldn't even find words to answer the question. His face scrunched together as his brown eyes (one still shielded by his mounds of hair) stared back into his friend's own. Conceal the emotions...he HAD to conceal the emotions. Was it too late? Arin's face grew more concerned, and he sat up a little.

"Holy shit, dude- are you okay? Do you need something?"

A tear did a sneak-attack down Danny's face. He'd NEVER had a panic attack in front of Arin before- and hardly in front of anyone for that matter. He needed solitude for this...to let his lungs burst. The only way to breathe was to cry. Yet the question was still at hand. Did he NEED anything? What could he possibly need!? There wasn't anything that could be done at this point- and Arin was right next to him.

"You're a bad influence on him. Before, Arin was funny and talented, but you HOG the show so much when you should just focus on what you're good at: music. Get a fucking life and pursue that."

Bad influence...Danny breathed in. He had to get away. And he couldn't let his friend follow. Once he had this sorted out in his only half-functioning brain right now, due to the panic which filled most of it, he would either come back to work things out or call Arin. Probably the latter, because it was just so painful to look at him right now. Danny knew Arin could see the fear in his eyes, and that thought made him even more afraid. If he tried to run, what would his friend do? They'd never been in a situation like this...

But if Danny truly was the person that letter had said he was...

He let a couple more tears slide down his face as he turned and yanked the car door open on the driver's side, trying to step out. One foot had touched the ground before a hand grabbed his arm...oh no.

"Dan, please talk to me. I'm here. Did something happen?"

Within seconds, which flew by too fast for either of the boys to comprehend, Danny had yanked his arm away and was running from his car. He got across the street and gulped for air, giving Arin some ample time to clumsily crawl from the passenger to the driver's side, and jump out of the car as well. He closed the door behind him and made his way in a walk across the road, eyes set in determination to talk. By this time Danny had started walking swiftly down the street (he couldn't run if he wanted his burning lungs to stay intact at this point) and away from Arin.

 ** _"You need to get away from him. He would be so much better without you. They all would be."_**

 _Worthless piece of shit._

The next thing he knew, Danny's knees were on the sidewalk and he sat with one hand tightly over his mouth, and the other gripping at his arm. That had triggered something long dormant in him. He needed to get to someone and talk about this- Brian? His dad? Or his mother, or sister, or- he just needed someone! The man was about to yank his cell phone from his pocket before a blast of cold wind picked up and hit him in the face, freezing Dan even more than he already had been in panic. He couldn't move now, that was for damn sure.

"Danny," he heard a familiar voice say from behind, and his shoulders were touched and given a squeeze at that point. A small bubble rose up in his throat and choked him back from responding or making movement. All he could do now was sit...watching that fluffy hair billow in the wind, along with his scarf. A few cars drove down the street here and there; yet neither of the two people on the sidewalk noticed the people craning their necks to see what was going on.

After all, two adults were on the sidewalk- one on his knees with his back to the other, looking very distraught. Was this a mugging?

Eventually Arin noticed the odd position the two were in. Quite nervously he also got onto his knees and sat behind Danny, hands lingering on his shoulders as they began to move slightly, in an effort to breathe. Yet the breathing was so labored. Increasingly concerned, the animator tilted his head forward to rest it on the singer's shoulder. He had no boundaries when it came to personal space, so this wasn't really odd for either of them. Especially not Danny- because he barely noticed anything aside from his racing thoughts. Reality was becoming so blurred...but he had to stay awake. He couldn't pass out now- or here.

"Dan. Danny. Daaaaan. Danny?!- the fuck is your deal?" Arin chuckled encouragingly, offering a small nudge. "You're gonna get me arrested for looking like this on the street. What if someone came walkin' down here and saw this? You've gotta get up and come back to the Grumpspace with me. Please?"

Danny hiccuped.

Arin, getting no other response, put his friend's arm around his neck and stood. He pulled up a very weak and shaking-a terrified-Sexbang and turned around slowly, arm around Danny's thin waist as they began to move forward. It quickly became apparent to Arin after this point that his friend...the one who he played games with so often, and went out to things with, performed with and hung out with...was crying internally over something- and it was something big. He wasn't just overreacting...he never did that. So they made their way back to the Grumpspace.

The wind was whipping furiously as leaves began to blow in circles everywhere. Cars sped down the street and, though there weren't many, it was nearing the time when some people in the area got off of work. So much happened in the past hour that it was almost impossible to reiterate it all; let alone just take it in. There was still no explanation for any of this. What other time had these emotions come up in their relationship? Never. What other time had Danny started crying in front of Arin? Nev-

 _Oh, shit..._

Danny's legs sagged a bit as more tears trickled down his cheeks, the ground seeming to become farther and farther away when, in reality, he was sinking towards it. Arin was seized with fright that there actually might be fainting involved, and gripped his friend even tighter around the waist; free hand grabbing onto the arm that was wrapped about his shoulders.

"Dude...don't do this to me. Please," Arin pleaded, concern beginning to tighten his chest. The only thing he could think of was to get back to the Grumpspace and try to talk him through this, so he pulled forward as best he can. A couple of times his long hair swiped at his face and stung his eyes, but Arin kept stomping forward with a shaky Danny being pulled behind. The latter could still walk, but it was slow progress- and Arin couldn't hope to hoist him up to carry him home. They were both 6 foot 2, with Dan leaning toward the taller range, so a piggyback ride was pretty much out of the question.

Within time, however, and patience on Arin's part, he managed to help Dan inside the building again after unlocking the door, and closing it behind them once they were inside.

Danny dropped once the door clicked shut, face burrowing deep into his hands. He sat on the floor kneeling, and shaking...but did everything he possibly could to hold back the tears.

Arin ran into the other room, looking around briefly before springing at the Pikachu plushie that had been left on the couch. It was pretty huge, so he took the giant Pokemon and carried it into where Danny sat, dropping it on the floor in front of him.

"Pika, pika. Pikachu wants to know why Dan's losing it." Arin put on a very deep voice as he squatted down, offering his friend a smile before continuing the charade. "If you can't tell the guy who just left, how about you talk to me?"

"THIS IS STUPID!" Dan shouted suddenly before lifting his face out of his hands, scarred eyebrow low over his one visible brown eye.

Arin's eyes were wide with shock. "Wh- I'm not stupid," he continued as Pikachu, growing wary if he'd said something wrong. "I'm just a Pokemon with a mission for hugs and mushy shit like that. Why don't you give me a hug? I'm not stupid, though- just a reminder."

"Not Pikachu..." Danny choked out before several tears rushed down his face, further serving to isolate him more from speaking. The distraught one reached up and scratched his stubble before turning his head away from Arin, intent on not hurting his feelings. "Please just...drive me home...I need to go." he put his hands on the floor and pushed himself up partially before wobbling. Arin gasped a bit and grabbed his shoulders.

"Fuck no," he said in his normal voice, dropping the plushie and pulling his friend back down to the floor. "I'm not letting you go home and be by yourself. You have to tell me what's wrong," the deep voice became slightly more pleading when the person listening failed to turn his head back around.

 _"Please..."_

Arin's eyes clouded with worry, and his hands slid down Danny's arms and began to take off his jacket. The man stood up and threw all of his friend's winter gear that he removed into a pile on one of the office chairs, and took off all of his as well before kneeling back down on the hardwood floor, hugging Pikachu. He scooted so his knees were touching Dan's.

"Did something happen during the Grump session today?"

His friend's head shook in response.

"Did you get some bad news from someone earlier today?"

Silence.

"Getting warmer? ...Hmm, did you hear something that hurt your feelings?"

Danny prickled. Ah, Arin was getting warmer indeed. He gave an internal smirk and put one arm on his hip, head tilting. Some hair fell in his face as always, including the blonde streak. His goal of looking hilariously ridiculous was starting to pay off- just a big Pikachu-hugging long-haired dork. That was an animator, alright- and a comedic one, at that. Laughter was the best medicine, and Arin knew he'd get down to the bottom of this situation and help uplift his close friend as best he could.

"So somethin' hurt your feelings. Who do I need to kill? Was it a person or, like, a mind thing? You'd better not be doing this to yourself."

"Please stop..."

"No," Arin said firmly, head straightening back up. "You have to tell me, dude. I'm not gonna leave you here or take you anywhere to be alone. You're stuck with me, and you have to tell me everything." he reached out his hand and took the side of Danny's face, turning it back to face him and brushing his piles of dark, fluffy hair behind his ear. Now he could see both of those big doe eyes- emotional as they were.

Danny remained silent, and he stopped breathing for several moments. His eyes stayed trained on Arin's, but the more he looked, the more guilty he felt. He must be hurting this person...someone who actually genuinely wanted him as a close friend, he was hindering more than helping. That thought twisted and knotted Danny's stomach.

"Tell me. I'm not shitting with you; I need you to talk. What's goin' on?"

Danny's eyes closed tight. "I'm a fucking moron and you shouldn't know me..." somehow it managed to come out, but that statement was followed by more reluctant tears and lip biting. He was so scared- but Arin failed to be sympathetic right now. He needed answers.

"Why would you think that to begin with? Sure as hell ain't true, but where would you get that idea?"

Danny's hand dug into his pocket, and he hurriedly withdrew the letter from it from earlier. Arin got a taste of how much he was really shaking from the hand that held out the piece of paper, which was white at the knuckles and very, very unstable. He took the letter and unfolded the wrinkled mess, starting at the top and beginning to read. The first paragraph was slightly confusing, as it seemed to be rather nice, but this quickly took a downturn.

Arin spent several minutes dwelling, reading, and rereading certain sections before he crumpled up the piece of paper.

"How...freakin' dare..." he began to mumble angrily, tossing the letter over into a nearby trashcan. It landed inside, thankfully, and the grumpy individual turned his head back to look at his friend, who was obviously trying to hold back from sobbing. It was so obvious with the way he looked...but, really? In front of Arin, would he actually break down?

"None of that is true, ya know."

One of Dan's eyes opened a crack. He stared in surprise at Arin; thankfully having regained the ability to breathe again within a minute or so. But he was so ashamed of being so awful in public...and running out to begin with. Now he was here, still feeling unbelievably sad and torn up over that stupid letter...and Arin was saying that none of it was true? It sure as hell was true- at LEAST some of it.

"Yeah, it is."

"No." Arin said simply, hands flying up and getting a firm grip on Danny's shoulders. He repeated the word again, in an even firmer tone than before; clearly not backing down from the answer that had been given. "None of that is true, Dan...unless there's something you're not telling me," his eyebrows lifted slightly, as if in waiting. WAS there something he was missing?

 ** _"Arin definitely doesn't need you in his life, and neither do your fans."_**

Was that why Danny felt the need to leave? That quote crossed Arin's mind.

His eyes immediately softened, and became a little sad themselves. The letter could have had multiple triggers, but maybe that closing line had left a true imprint. Danny's eyes were closed tight, his lips quivering slightly as he desperately tried to hold back more tears. This was so much to take in...he was so upset, and yet, unwilling to say why. All he wanted to do was leave and get out of sight of everything and everyone.

"...Dude," Arin said, sitting straight up on his knees so he was taller than his friend. "I'm seriously begging you. I can see why that'd make you feel so shitty, but you have to take my word for it. You're the best fucking partner anyone could ever have. Like, I mean...we play games and go places, and write music together and party, and hang. We're bros."

"You don't need it that way..." Danny whimpered, feeling his friend's squeeze his shoulders tightly. Arin was obviously happy that he was speaking. "Maybe if we'd never met then...then you'd still have your old show, and nothing would've changed."

"DAN!" Arin's eyes became wide. "Are you joshing me?"

"Why the fuck would I be-"

"Stop!" Arin at once pulled his friend into the tightest hug he'd possibly ever been in before. Danny sat dumbfounded, arms limp at his sides as he was squeezed tightly. "...You really think I'd have it any way other than the way it is now? You're not a bad influence on me, and I'm not one on you. We hang. We're best friends. And no stupid letter can change that."

More tears.

"Life would be better for you if...you faced up to the fact that you're too good for me. You're too good to be friends with such a loser, Arin..." the man's teeth were gritted against each other, whole body feeling increasingly limp at the thought that he might actually lose someone today. This was Game Grumps, and Starbomb, and everything...but beyond that, they were practically family. How could something as tight as that be broken apart? Maybe by the realization that Arin would be better off without him...

"Shut the fuck up..." Arin's voice was so firm that Danny almost jumped. He only ever talked this way to a video game; and even then, mostly, it was joking. He legitimately sounded angry at this point- pissed, even. "Don't you dare say anything bad about me, or yourself, or any of this. If anything, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you as a friend. Let alone as a best friend."

Danny's eyes widened slightly. That was the name of the song he was humming earlier.

 ** _"Ooh, you're the best friend that I ever had  
I've been with you such a long time  
You're my sunshine and I want you to know  
That my feelings are true  
I really love you  
Oh you're my best friend"_**

His brain's musical side was leaking in, finally.

"Dan, I've gotta ask you something. And I want you to be honest with me, get it?" Arin's face was nestled comfortably into his friend's hair and leaning in-still on his knees and eyes half lidded. His arms stay wound around his partner's shoulders in a very tight, very soothing hug. With a breath, he continued in a mumble. "Do you think that we were actually meant to meet each other...become friends...and, like, get to where we are now?"

 ** _"A fine day for mayoring"_**  
 ** _"I consider it a personal defeat if my pee is not perfectly clear every time."_**  
 ** _"You're a FREAK!"_**  
 ** _"And then I fired, and then I fired, and I missed. I missed both times. And then I fired. And I missed. This went on for several hours. And then I fired. And then I missed."_**  
 ** _"If you love someone, tell them you love 'em. And if you hate them, be sure to tell them 'fuck you', at every possible opportunity."_**  
 ** _"At age six, I was born without a face."_**  
 ** _"It's snowing on Mount Fuji."_**  
 ** _"MORE ONION PLEASE!"_**  
 ** _"When I'm looking for a girl I often think: she seems nice. I wonder what her background is. I wonder what her dreams are. I wonder how many hexagons she can collect and how quickly she can collect them."_**  
 ** _"You think I came out the pussy drawin' fucking Mozart!?"_**  
 ** _"I fucked a cantaloupe once"_**  
 ** _"YOU PIECE OF HAIRY GARBAGE, I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!"_**  
 ** _"...Fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook!? MARK ZUCKERBURG"_**  
 ** _"IT'S REAL AS FUCK, YO!"_**  
 ** _"I FEEL LIKE I'M GOIN' CRAZY!"_**  
 ** _"Don't make fame your goal. Make your goal doing what you do to the best of your ability, and that's something no one can take away from you."_**  
 ** _"You win my affection, you win my love, you win my friendship, and you win my fist in your face."_**  
 ** _..._**

...  
"Hey I'm Grump! I'm Not-So-Grump! And we're the Game Grumps!"

The dam finally burst; fully and completely. Danny forgot he had the capability to cry this hard, let alone do so in front of another person. Arin sat there and let him, rubbing his back as he shook with sobs and tears. Everything that they had been through together finally hit him square in the face-and it was so much to take in all at once. Years of doing Game Grumps...thousands of episodes, millions of fans, and they wound up here with Danny questioning that.

"I-I...I didn't mean- I don't take it for granted, I-" he said in between sobs, now holding onto Arin with all the might he could muster. "I don't want it to end, I promise you!"

Arin was rubbing Danny's back as he spoke, eyes closed as he waited for his friend to finish rambling so that he could speak.

"Yeah, I know. Then why would you ever let a stupid letter tell you otherwise? That's not what I want. I don't want you to leave like Jon did, Dan; you're here now." he turned his head slightly more into Danny's hair, talking softer as he was right by his friend's ear. "And I don't want you to ever think you're nothing. We've helped so many people, dude. You and I both."

"And you're not just...keeping me around 'cuz people will get mad if you don't?"

Arin chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Hell no. You actually mean something to me. You play video games with me, dude- we go to conventions together and write badass tunes together...I'm sure I've said this before on the show, but I think you're awesome."

"...Sarcasm?"

"Sometimes I sound like I'm being sarcastic when I'm, like, 200% sure of myself. You've gotta take my word for it sometimes, y'know." Arin soothed, pulling out from Danny's grasp and standing, holding out his hand. It was taken almost instantly, and the two of them walked to the couch in the other room. The taller sat down first, still fighting off tears, while the other one grabbed him a tissue box and plopped beside his friend. He had a huge grin, now, and once Danny had wiped his nose, Arin threw his arms around him again.

They both sat back and Danny kicked off his shoes, putting his feet up on the couch as Arin continued to squeeze him. By this time they were both grinning happily. A few moments went by before Danny relaxed back more, tears still sneaking down his cheek occasionally as he threw his arms around Arin in return. A soft hum arose from his throat, and Arin turned, intrigued by it.

He was a bit blurred from Dan's perspective due to his hair in his face, but the humming continued until it picked up into a song.

 _ **"Ooh you make me live  
Whatever this world can give to me,  
It's you: you're all I see  
Ooh you make me live, now, honey  
Ooh you make me live  
Ooh you're the best friend that I ever had  
I've been with you such a long time"**_

Arin was grinning from ear to ear. He knew the rest of it, but let Danny sing softly.

 ** _"You're my sunshine, and I want you to know,  
That my feelings are true..."_**

He pushed his hair from his face, eyes locking with Arin's in a look of utmost sincerity.

 ** _"I really loooove you~"_**

Arin laughed happily and pulled Dan into a hug again, absolutely content and beaming with happiness. Yes, the two had been through a lot of good times, and stressful times, but they would always be connected by that one day. If anything, the letter that Danny had gotten improved their friendship and drew them even closer together. For that, Arin was enormously happy, and so was Danny. They were best friends to each other; and nothing could ever change that.

"I love you too, buddy." Arin pulled back from the hug, and the two looked at each other with happy smiles on their faces. "A whole fucking lot. And you're worth it."

They stayed like that for a few minutes...it was all over. Everything with the hate mail, everything with the Reddit thread- it didn't matter. Of course they would come across that sort of thing again, but Arin and Danny had each other's backs. Even though their show would end one day, their friendship wouldn't. Locking hands, Arin began to swing his back and forth with his friend's, toothy grin still on his face.

 ** _"Hey, I'm Grump~"_** sung Arin to the tune of their song; something that could always make his friend smile.

Danny let out one of his signature laughs, giving a wink and a thumbs up.

 ** _"I'm Not-So-Grump~"_**

"And...we're...the Game Grumps!"


End file.
